TOBI VS GAARA WTF!
by Raven Solas Hallow
Summary: What happens when Tobi 'attacks Gaara' and what does Zetsu have to say about it


TOBI verses GAARA (WTF?)

"talking"  
'thoughts'  
Hey, reader I am referring to Zetsu as Kuro (Black Zetsu) and Shiro (White Zetsu)  
Warning: Slight to major crack fiction  
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING.  
Rating: K+ for mentioning killing/blowing people up  
Word Count: 804

The sun was setting casing shadows across the sandy dunes of the wind country. One figure strolled out of the gates of the village in the fading light the one lone figure was Gaara the Kazikaga of Suna. He had to get away from the office before he lost what little sanity he had and killed all of those stupid council members.  
Gaara was so absorbed in how much he wanted to forget about his Kazikaga position that he didn't see a pile of sand shift with a lollipop mask sticking out until a very loud voice declare " Tobi is a good boy! Tobi will kill the banji vessel and bring it back to Deidria-sempi!" The ninja that was hiding in the sand reiterated that repeatedly like a mantra as he ran toward the very confused redhead that just stood there with an impassive look written upon his face.

Tobi launched himself at the slightly shorter male. (A/N: yes, Gaara is shorter than Tobi. Gaara is 5' 4" and Tobi is 5' 7") Gaara still did nothing as the boy started to punch him –it did not hurt him it merely annoyed him- but what shocked Gaara the most was that his sand did not even respond to the 'threat'.  
The Kazikaga glared at the orange masked man 'Not even my sand views him as a threat…how interesting.' The blood colored haired boy contemplated. Tobi temporary halt his assault and looked down at the slightly smaller male saying, "You do not fear Tobi, but….but Tobi is an Akatsuki member!" The boy then waved his hands in emphasis about the Akatsuki part even pointing to his black cloak that had red clouds covering it.  
Gaara sighed and pushed pass the masked ninja to continue his walk before he had to go back to the office and deal with the old cranky elders. He stopped again when none other than Tobi knocked him face first into the sand. "You can't leave Tobi. Tobi must take you back to the base and please Deidria-sempi and Leader-sama. Please…please…please let Tobi defeat you so Tobi can-" The annoying voice and weight of the other body disappeared causing Gaara to look up.

What the red head saw was a black and white man with a Venus flytrap around his head holding a chibi-a-fied Tobi by the back of his cloak. "Zetsu, Tobi was being a good boy by tracking the Banji vessel" said the boy only for the dual colored ninja plant person to shake the masked ninja to silence him once more.  
Zetsu sighed and the white half spoke "Sorry about all of this I told him not to run off but it goes in one ear and out the other." Kuro-Zetsu added, "We think that he has some type of brain damage from falling out of trees and getting blown up by Deidria." Shiro glared at Kuro and continued with "I hope that he didn't cause you too much trouble and would you please not tell anyone about this."

Gaara stared in disbelief at the sight in front of him. The sand ninja shook his head and walked off. "I need to take a vacation from the office because I'm seeing things now. Kami, I wish that the voice in my head won't come back from this or I'll truly go insane." Exclaimed the Kazikaga as he headed back to the meeting room to ask for a vacation.

Zetsu looked down at his apprentice who was trying to go after the redhead still. "Kid you're in so much trouble when we get back to base." Said Shiro "Can we eat him now?" asked Kuro as they dragged Tobi back to base. "Unfortunately no since we're short on members and Leader-sama will kill us if we attempt to eat another member," answered Shiro. After a while of walking, they reached the base with a now calm Tobi. Walking into the building, they found the brooding bomber mumbling about having Tobi as a partner.

The blonde-transvestite looked up and saw Tobi who was hiding behind Zetsu. The bomber narrowed his eyes at the orange masked ninja and sent a clay bird at him. Tobi ran from his hiding place and out the doors of the base back toward the sand village hoping that Deidria would not follow but to his dismay, he did. They reached the dessert the next day only to find the redhead walking toward them.

Twenty yards away Gaara looked up and saw the two members of the infamous 'evil' origination acting like two year olds. Shaking his head Gaara made a few hand signs for a giant sand burial thus burying the two alive. With that, done Gaara made his way to the leaf village for his relaxing two-week vacation that he had "persuaded" the council elders to give him. -okay he threatened them with his sand and he might have brought up that he would give Shukaku control of his body if they didn't give him a break, but it still had the same effect.-

THE END

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PLEASE REVIEW :) -RSH


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